Growing up, I was raised Episcopalian. Originally from a fairly high-church, albeit not Anglo-Catholic, Anglican parish I have been instilled with an admitted nostalgia for the Anglican liturgy. It doesn't help that I married a woman who, though not Anglican, is herself an Anglophile.
In college, I have the typical reaction in wanting more out of my faith. I was attending a more low-church on-campus Episcopalian church that was ripe with university liberalism. So despite my desire, my faith waned in and out. I explored pagan religions for a little bit, too, when I was in college, but ultimately found them hollow spiritually. Eventually, toward the end of my college years and a few years after, I was somewhere between universalist, agnostic, and atheist.
A little over a year ago, I was sent overseas for work and had more time to examine myself, my life, and my spirituality. I feeling those desires again, I started looking into every Christian denomination... ever. The majority of which resulted in my knowledge base of Christian thought, theology, and history.
My initial reaction was to go with what appealed to me emotionally. Quickly, my values, though always leaning conservative, became more so, as well as my desire to feel what I thought to be the presence of God. Being surrounded by Mormons, I started exploring their faith. I found many things in their lifestyle and faith I found appealing, though after exploring it deeply, I found ultimately my attraction to be based on the Mormon 'burning bosom' feeling, i.e. "if I feel the Holy Spirit, I will know it to be true". Trying to reconcile the Mormon faith with a basis in reality, I was unable, and quickly resulted in my disillusionment with LDS.
From that experience, I have learned to delve deeper into history as my 'reality anchor' into Christian thought. No longer willing to accept 'good feelings' as my basis for theology, I have found myself with what I believe to be 'true Christianity'.
I am now stuck between Roman Catholic and Eastern Orthodox (Orthodox Catholic). I firmly believe, both by spiritual experience, and more importantly by historical and theological soundness, that one of these holds the fullness of the Christian faith.
This blog is my daily arguments, discoveries, and thoughts on this journey.
Wow, thank you for sharing your faith journey. I'm praying very hard for your discernment. Do not forget to ask the Lord Himself to show you the way. That is what worked for me. :)
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